Keeping the holidays merry

"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."

~Dave Barry

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

~Anna Quindlen

This is a very special time of year. It can be full of joy, cheer, parties, and reconnecting with family and friends. For many people it can also be a time of severe stress. Though we're told that this should be the happiest time of the year, many people instead experience the holiday blues.

During this time of year, there's a lot of pressure (mostly self-imposed) to be perfect. We try to be the perfect host, guest, cook, spouse, parent, child, etc. We watch the holiday movies and want so much to recreate the Hallmark/Disney version of this for ourselves and our family. These unrealistic expectations for the holidays are very stressful and can lead to depression and illness.

So what are some ways to manage the holidays, so that you hit the new year feeling merry? Here are eleven tips I've compiled from the Mental Health America website and the Mayo Clinic to help you keep jolly and sane during this holiday season:

1. Keep expectations for the holiday season manageable. Try to set realistic goals for yourself. Pace yourself. Organize your time. Make a list and prioritize the important activities.
2. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Don’t put the entire focus on just one day (i.e., Thanksgiving Day). Remember that it’s a season of holiday sentiment, and activities can be spread out to lessen stress and increase enjoyment.
3. Remember the holiday season does not banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
4. Set a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
5. Enjoy activities that are free, such as taking a drive to look at holiday decorations, going window shopping or making a snowperson with children.
6. Leave “yesteryear” in the past and look toward the future. Life brings changes. Each season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don’t set yourself up in comparing today with the “good ol’ days.”
7. Do something for someone else. Try volunteering some of your time to help others.
8. Try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a new way.
9. Spend time with supportive and caring people. Reach out and make new friends, or contact someone you haven’t heard from in a while.
10. Save time for yourself! Recharge your batteries! Let others share in the responsibility of planning activities.
11. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity. And of course, don't forget to laugh.