Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Poem of the Day - I Know the Way You Can Get


I Know the Way You Can Get
~Hafiz (from I Heard God Laughing: Renderings of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

I know the way you can get
When you have not had a drink of Love:

Your face hardens,
Your sweet muscles cramp.
Children become concerned
About a strange look that appears in your eyes
Which even begins to worry your own mirror
And nose.

Squirrels and birds sense your sadness
And call an important conference in a tall tree.
They decide which secret code to chant
To help your mind and soul.

Even angels fear that brand of madness
That arrays itself against the world
And throws sharp stones and spears into
The innocent
And into one's self.

O I know the way you can get
If you have not been drinking Love:

You might rip apart
Every sentence your friends and teachers say,
Looking for hidden clauses.

You might weigh every word on a scale
Like a dead fish.

You might pull out a ruler to measure
From every angle in your darkness
The beautiful dimensions of a heart you once
Trusted.

I know the way you can get
If you have not had a drink from Love's
Hands.

That is why all the Great Ones speak of
The vital need
To keep remembering God,
So you will come to know and see Him
As being so Playful
And Wanting,
Just Wanting to help.

That is why Hafiz says:
Bring your cup near me.
For all I care about
Is quenching your thirst for freedom!

All a Sane man can ever care about
Is giving Love!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Joshua: Re. Moving


Message to Joshua: I would love to ask about our upcoming move. We are moving 6 blocks away to a larger space with a real kitchen and oven, bath tub and room for a guest. Yeah! Is there anything that we need to do for preparation? I will also be able to have my home office there where I am developing my businesses.

Joshua's Response: Dearest Elizabeth. All you have to do is to move forward in expectant joy - and in the tone of your asking we are hearing this. Allow Source energy to help you as you proceed. Pre-pave the way with your intentions. Start each day with the intentions of ease, joy, and grace, and allow it to unfold that way. When you find yourself in resistance or feeling stuck (and many such feelings often come up during moves), just take some time to breathe. Deep breathing is one of the most useful tools that are available to you. Even 3 deep breaths can help break down any resistance. Taking time for 10 deep breaths is magical. I will remind you again of how loved you are and how much Source wants for your continued growth and unfoldment to proceed with joy and ease. This move is very blessed, and will flow with as much ease as you allow.

30 Day Challenge and A Message from Joshua


So, in case you were wondering what happened to the 30 day challenge, I actually did finish it. I just finished it on another blog, my Equilawbrium Blog. I had been writing it on that blog and then re-posting here. I decided that was too much work on my part, so I just left it there. Check it out if you get a chance... there's good stuff there.

I want to use this blog for another purpose. Actually, something wants to use me through this blog. It's very strange to explain, but several months ago I became a channel. A source of higher consciousness/divine wisdom began speaking through me. At first there was a group, simply called "the guides" who spoke through me. More recently, a voice named Joshua, began to communicate to and through me. Joshua said that he wanted to share messages to the world through this blog.

So here is today's message from Joshua:

Greetings to all who are reading this. I am very pleased to be able to communicate with you through this exciting medium. And I am grateful for Monick who has allowed this interaction. I desire for you to ask me questions through her. You may ask questions in the comments and the responses will come back through these blog posts.

In the meantime, today I just want to share the message of how loved, special, and appreciated you are of Source. Nothing you have ever done and could ever do can ever diminish this love that Source energy (some of you may know this energy as God, Allah, Jehovah, or the Universe) has for you. As you go about this day remember this love that is here for you. This love that desires to meet all of your needs is always here. Please turn to Source for anything (there is nothing too big or too small). The more you allow Source to pave the way for you, the easier things will flow for you. It is always your choice of how you can go about it, but why not choose ease and joy?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Enjoying Natural Pleasures


I committed to this 30 day challenge, so I’m blogging today. But because I’m on a vacation with my hubby, I’m keeping this one short. We’re in beautiful Ojai and right now instead of blogging, I’m going to go sit out in the glorious veranda and look up at the stars. Outside of the bright lights of Los Angeles, the Milky Way is glowing above us in a miraculously bright display. It’s calling my name, and I’m heeding its call.

Before I go, I want to challenge you to go find some nature to appreciate as well. Literally go smell the roses, enjoy the night sky, or take off your shoes and feel the grass under your feet. Connect with the simple natural pleasures of the world around you. It will ground you and bring perspective to anything you are facing in your life.

[30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day 8]

Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick inspires and supports lawyers and other professionals in crafting their careers and lives so that they are ones of balance, passion, and joy.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Tending To Your Relationship


A relationship is like a delicate rose bush. If you care for it, it will bloom year after year with unsurpassed beauty. If you don't, you might end up with a dull, lifeless entity that is struggling to survive.”
~ Rinatta Paries

Every relationship, no matter how strong, needs loving attention to help it flourish. This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. Tomorrow my husband and I are going on a romantic little getaway to Ojai. We’re leaving our toddler with my sister and just taking two days and one night away. I adore my husband beyond words. We truly have a legendary love affair. However, because we both work from home and spend so much time together, it can be easy sometimes to take one another for granted. I felt like we needed a change of scene and some quality alone time to help spruce things up. So we planned this rather impromptu trip. I can’t wait! I know that it’s these little trips and date nights that are essential to keep things fresh and loving.

Tender loving care of relationships is not just for your relationship with your significant other. All special relationships -- from your kids to your close friends and everyone in between -- could use some occasional tending. Do you have some relationships that could use some loving attention? If so, plan one thing today to show that person you care!

[30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day 7]

Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick inspires and supports lawyers and other professionals in crafting their careers and lives so that they are ones of balance, passion, and joy.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Where is Your Edge?

Come to the Edge ~ by Guillaume Apollinaire

Come to the edge, he said.

They said: We are afraid.

Come to the edge, he said.

They came.

He pushed them and they flew.

***

There is a whisper inside that is calling you to an edge. There is a whisper that is pushing you towards a scary abyss. Where is your edge? Are you willing to listen to the call?

I recently read a quote by an unknown author: “It is far more powerful to live your truth than to preach it.” I’m being pushed towards my edge to create a powerful workshop. I just created another one recently (which was its own edge at the time), but this cliff seems a lot scarier. The workshop is based off of a book I wrote a few months ago. It’s a little terrifying to put this information out in the world because it’s all my creation. What if I take the leap and fall flat on my face? Yikes! So, little by little I’m crawling to the edge. I’m shoring up my confidence and making sure I have done all the necessary preparations. Just putting this blog post out there is getting me closer. Whee! I’ll tell you more as I get ready to jump.

[30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day 6]

Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick inspires and supports lawyers and other professionals in crafting their careers and lives so that they are ones of balance, passion, and joy.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

5 Ways to Amp Up Your Mojo


Mojo: The libido, the life force, the essence, the right stuff, what the French call a certain ... ‘I don’t know what’” ~Dr Evil in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

“Mojo” refers to your self-confidence, self-esteem, self-efficacy, or even sex appeal. If you’re feeling like your mojo could use a boost, here are five simple ways to amp up your mojo:

  1. Make a list of what’s mojolicious about you right now. “Mojolicious” means the things about you that are deliciously sublime and wonderful. People who have mojo are confident -- they know why they are the cat’s meow. So the first thing to do to amp up your mojo is to know why you are fantastic... why you are mojolicious. So start detailing your positive attributes (e.g., your dashing smile, sterling sense of humor, cute buns, brilliance, creativity). This will automatically start to boost your self-confidence and your mojo. If you want a super boost, ask some people that are close to you (at least one, but as many as you are willing to ask) what they think is special and wonderful about you. When they tell you write it down on your mojolicious list (without editions), and don’t discount what they say or try to be humble. Mojo is not about humility. Just take it in and say “Thank you, it’s true.”
  2. Do something outrageous and daring. Nothing boosts your mojo like flexing your courage muscles. Whether it’s sky diving or asking out that hottie at work you’ve been secretly eyeing for 2 years, moving out of your comfort zone will definitely amp up your mojo.
  3. Look your best. Wear flattering clothes, get your hair done, do your nails, etc. When you look your best you feel your best, and that’s what having mojo is all about.
  4. Flirt. Flirtation is putting favorable attention and appreciation on someone else. You can also think of it as using your communication skills with a twist of fun, frolic, jesting, merriment, jocularity, and mirth. It does not have to be about attracting a mate; it can just be about connecting to that most fun-loving and attractive person inside of you (this is important even when you already have a significant other). If you're married or in a committed relationship, flirt with your significant other. You can also flirt with others, but I suggest you flirt lightly or in situations where your flirtations will not be ambiguous &/or taken the wrong way. Or as E.W. Howe counsels “To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your [partner] before engaging in a flirtation.” If you're single and looking to attract that special person, flirt with everyone you can. Do not flirt to get anything, just flirt to enjoy yourself. It's fun and it will surely boost your mojo.
  5. Get in tune with your body and it’s natural sex appeal. Slow down and saunter while you walk. Stand up straighter. Feel your curves. Swing your hips. Get in tune with the rhythms of your body. Move like the sexiest creature you can imagine -- whether that’s a jaguar or a pole dancer. If you move it, you’ll feel it.

[30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day 5]

Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick inspires and supports lawyers and other professionals in crafting their careers and lives so that they are ones of balance, passion, and joy.

pastedGraphic.pdf


Friday, August 6, 2010

Are You Living On Purpose?


This week in my Life Alchemy Workshop we’re focusing on the part of our lives dealing with career and life path/life mission. This section deals with the way we bring our talents and gifts to the world. When things are going well in this section, you’ll feel like your natural talents and gifts are fully being made use of and in a way that perfectly complements your values. You'll feel like you're living on purpose. When you have this type of alignment in your career, anything you do for work will be a joy. Your life path, however, is not just about what you do in your career.

When you look at the feng shui bagua map, you’ll notice that the career/life path section (bottom center) is different from the section dealing with wealth and prosperity (top left). They’re definitely related, but they’re not one and the same.

When you think about this distinction, it makes sense. For many people, including myself, parenting is part of their life path/life mission. It is not generally a way of bringing in income. Quite the reverse actually. Conversely, you can have a job that is rather lucrative, but does not make good use of your gifts and talents. I felt this way about law practice. I was very well remunerated, but I felt like the job was sucking my soul. It made use of a few of my gifts and talents, but not enough of them and not enough of the time. The rest of the time, I had to do tasks that were not a comfortable fit. I felt like a fish out of water. Now, in comparison, I feel like virtually every thing I do is in line with my talents, gifts, and values. My current work feels like the perfect pool for me.

Transitioning to this line of work did not magically happen for me. I spent a lot of time exploring my gifts, talents, and values. I created a personal mission statement, and made a commitment to live by that statement. I invested in coaching and classes to help me stay the course. It took faith in myself and a higher power, a lot of baby steps, and some patience. But it did happened. Some aspects of my mission statement are still aspirational, but I continue to take daily steps in the direction.

If you are feeling like you are not quite living your purpose and you may not be on the right path, I suggest that you first put together a personal mission statement. A personal mission is a statement of your core values and highest goals. A useful mission statement should include two pieces: what you wish to accomplish and contribute, and who you want to be - the character strengths and qualities you wish to develop. If you’d like some guidance, check out this website for a free personal mission statement wizard.

[30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day 4]

Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick inspires and supports lawyers and other professionals in crafting their careers and lives so that they are ones of balance, passion, and joy.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

What Stories Will They Tell About You?


"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." –Will Rogers

I agree with the above quote, but would add “live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip, because you know that she’s going to have some great stories to tell.” Live your life so that you give them something to talk about. Make your life an epic and interesting tale.

Maybe my addition to the above quote is redundant. I’d be embarrassed if all my parrot had to talk about was what I was watching on television. I want my parrot to have some really great stories to share. Don’t you? I want my parrot to talk about a life of passion, love, adventure, intrigue, success, compassion, and courage. If your proverbial parrot were given away today, what kind of stories would it squawk about? Are you living the kind of life you want the town to talk about? If not, think about what story you do want to live. What would you want your biographers to say? When you figure it out start living so that your parrot will be evidence of a interesting life lived fully and completely.

[30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day 3]


Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick inspires and supports lawyers and other professionals in crafting their careers and lives so that they are ones of balance, passion, and joy.

pastedGraphic.pdf

A Message from the Universe


Every weekday in my e-mail inbox I receive Notes from the Universe. They’re these amusing and inspirational little messages written by Mike Dooley, aka “The Universe.” Today’s message I thought was particularly great:

If someone wants ‘A’ to happen, yet they prepare for ‘B,’ they will always get ‘B.’ Prepare for ‘A’ - The Universe.”

Many people prepare for the worst case scenario. I used to always hope for the best, but expect the worst. I figured that way, whatever I got wouldn’t be so disappointing. I wasn’t disappointed, but was creating less than ideal scenarios. Now I hope for the best, prepare for the best, and enjoy whatever I get anyway. It’s often even better than I thought.

***

P.S. I’ve taken on a blogging challenge, so every day for the next 29 days (I blogged yesterday) I will be posting something. I hope you join me! Also, please let me know if you have any topics you’d like me to write about or any questions you’d like for me to answer.


Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of the Reiki Coach and Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick inspires and supports lawyers and other professionals in crafting their careers and lives so that they are ones of balance, passion, and joy.

pastedGraphic.pdf

Are you just moaning when you should be moving?


“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

Les Brown tells this great story:

One afternoon a man walks past a house and sees a cute old couple rocking in their rocking chairs reading the paper. Lying in between them is a dog moaning as if its in pain. The man silently wonders what the dog is moaning about as he walks past.

The next afternoon the man walks past the same house. Again the couple is out there rocking in their chairs, sipping iced tea, and reading. Again the dog is lying in between them and moaning. The man is a bit worried about the dog, but he again passes and says nothing.

The third day the man makes a point of walking in front of the old couple’s house to check on the dog. He’s distressed to find the same scene - the old couple contentedly reading while the dog moans in pain. The young man feels compelled to say something.

“Excuse me” he calls out to the couple. “What’s wrong with your dog?”

“Oh him?” the old woman said, pointing the dog. “He’s just moaning because he is lying on a nail.”

The young man is confused. “If he’s lying on a nail and its so uncomfortable, why doesn’t he just get up and move?”

The little old lady smiled at him and said “Well honey, it hurts just enough for him to moan about it, but not enough for him to move yet.”

***

Do you recognize yourself in that couple’s old dog? I know there have been times in my life when I’ve done my share of moaning when I should have been moving. Many people spend a lot of energy moaning about problems that they have the power to fix. Often the problems aren’t even that difficult to fix, but we get in the habit of moaning and forget that we could just move. We think that moaning/whining/complaining is going to make it better -- maybe if we moan long and loud enough someone will come and move the nail for us or carry us away. It almost never happens that way. Moaning just usually makes the nail seem that much more painful. So when you read this story, ask yourself: are you lying on a nail and just moaning about it? If so, stop moaning and start moving!

[30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 1]

Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of The Reiki Coach and Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick inspires and supports lawyers and other professionals in crafting their careers and lives so that they are ones of balance, passion, and joy.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

How To Speed Your Physical Recovery

A lot of people say they want to get out of pain, and I'm sure that's true, but they aren't willing to make healing a high priority. They aren't willing to look inside to see the source of their pain in order to deal with it.” ~Lindsay Wagner

A little while ago a friend of mine was about to go into the hospital to get her tonsils removed. She e-mailed me to ask for my suggestions on how she could heal better. She wanted to have a speedy and pleasant healing experience. I think my response to her could be useful to others, so I am sharing my e-mail.

“Dear [Friend],

I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way and am holding the awareness that you are already healthy, whole, and complete. Illness is the beginning of healing, so congratulations for creating this situation to bring you higher.

[My friend had decided that she was going to write a recovery blog, but wanted other suggestions for how to promote healing.] You are of course brilliant for writing the recovery blog -- the script of a blessed and easy recovery. That's already an excellent step to take for healing. Since you've asked for my suggestions on other ways to take yourself higher, here you go:

  1. Ask you body what lesson she is trying to send you. The tonsils are around the area of the fifth chakra -- the throat chakra/seat of communication. Is there perhaps an issue about speaking your truth out into the world that your body is sending you? Tune into that area of pain and ask if Anything else come up when you ask your body? Pain is your body's cry for help. It sends messages subtly, but when those messages are ignored they end up getting stronger and stronger. Listening to the message will help you heal.
  2. Organize yourself around your pleasure ... really indulge in whatever makes you feel good. Revel in sensual pleasures... flowers for the eyes, wonderful scents (lavender is relaxing; peppermint or citrus are energizing), tastes (whatever tastes good to you -- whatever that will be when you have your tonsils out); tactile (love from your honey, but also wonderful fabrics... silks, velvets, etc.)
  3. Allow others to serve you. Their service is a gift to you. Your accepting it is a gift to them.
  4. Laugh as much as possible. Laughter really is one of nature's best medicines. I recently spent the weekend with some friends in Canberra and the husband is a doctor. He was telling me how studies have shown that laughter literally repairs DNA and sadness destroys it. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Call the laughter yoga line. Watch funny movies or tv shows. Read funny books. Hang out with people who make you laugh, etc
  5. Use positive mantras for your healing. "Every atom in my body is healthy, whole, and complete." "Everything in my life is healing right now." "I am willing to change the mental conditions that have created this situation." "I am willing to heal." I know you know how to create and use mantras, so pick or create whatever resonates most for you.
  6. Create a vision board. It can be for your entire life or it can be limited to this period of recovery. What do you want to create during this time?
  7. Receive Reiki. Reiki promotes your natural healing energy. It’s a relaxing and wonderful way to complement other healing modalities.”

Those were my suggestions for promoting healing. If you have others, I would love to hear about them. Please comment!

Friday, July 9, 2010

What would you do if you only had one year left to live?


"A man should not leave this earth with unfinished business. He should live each day as if it was a pre-flight check. He should ask each morning, am I prepared to lift-off?” ~Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, All is Vanity, 1991

A few years ago (four years ago to be exact) I took a self-development course and was given an exercise to work on:

if you had only 365 days to live, you didn't have to worry about money or your health during the year, and on the 365th day you would die easily and painlessly, what would you do with your year?

I considered this exercise and wrote an earnest answer. I wrote it all down in a journal and then put that journal in a briefcase I barely touched for the next 4 years. Recently I used that briefcase as I flew on a trip to New York and discovered my answer to this exercise. I was rather pleasantly surprised to see that pretty much every goals for my imaginary final year I managed to accomplish over the past 4 years. Those included quitting my law job, finding the love of my life, having a baby girl, writing a book, and traveling around the world.

I was rather pleasantly surprised by how all these goals that seemed rather far away when I wrote them had all come to pass. It made me think, what if I spent the next 365 days as if they were my last? What if every day I considered really seriously how I want to live my “final year”? What kind of adventures would I go on then? How would my life be different? And thus my Last Year Project was born. I challenged myself to live fully from this space for 365 days. If you want to follow my adventures, you can do so here.

I would like to challenge you to answer the question I answered four years ago: if you had only 365 days to live, you didn't have to worry about money or your health during the year, and on the 365th day you would die easily and painlessly, what would you do with your year? Feel free to share your response to this question in the comments.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

What's In Your Backpack?

"Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough." ~Charles Dudley Warner

A couple nights ago I watched Up in the Air with George Clooney. In the movie George Clooney’s character is an inspirational speaker who gives a talk called “What’s In Your Backpack?” In this talk he uses the metaphor of a backpack that contains all of our possessions and commitments. He argues that all our relationships and stuff is too much extra baggage to carry around. It is so heavy that it’s nearly impossible to move. He counsels that we should walk around life with an empty backpack - free of these things that weigh us down.

It’s true that some stuff and people in our lives can be onerous, but do you really want an empty backpack? As I went for my run today I started to think about that. I see his point that certain possessions can really weigh you down - it may feel like they end up owning you instead of vice versa. While I have been focusing on simplifying my life and getting rid of things that I no longer need, I decided I definitely wouldn’t want to get rid of all possessions. In addition to a few prized possessions, I’m happy to fill my backpack with assets (in the Rich Dad, Poor Dad meaning of the word.) Income-producing property (whether real property, investments, or intellectual property) is the type of property that won’t weigh you down... rather it lifts you up. I wouldn’t mind having much less of the other stuff, but I’m happy to fill my backpack with real assets.

With regards to people... it’s true that there are some people that are real downers. They come with too much baggage and they drain your energy. It’s ok to take those types of people out of your backpack. However, there are people with whom you have very meaningful relationships. These are the people who lift you up, help carry your burdens, and sometimes help carry you. Those are definitely keepers. Not only do they make the journey easier, they also make it fun.

So do I want to have an empty backpack? Not a chance!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

How To Use Your Time More Effectively

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.”

~Carl Sandburg


For people with busy jobs and lives, it can be easy to feel drained and like you’re spinning your wheels. Similarly, I know many people with plenty of time on their hands who don’t know where their time has gone and why they haven’t accomplished anything. If you feel like you’re spending lots of time but are not happy with the results, complete a time inventory.


People who want to lose weight or get better with their finances do much better when they track their food intake or spending. Similarly, in order to better use your time you should track how you spend it. Be brutally honest (yes those 10 minutes surfing the web do count) and create an inventory of how you spend your time and with whom. If you’re feeling like you don’t have the time to do this exercise, I’m betting that you particularly need to do this. After tracking your time expenditures for a couple days, you will be surprised at how much of your time is spent with people and on activities that drain you instead of ones that nourish you and help create the life you’re seeking.

When you have tracked your time rate the entries using the following helpful rating system that I got from the book The Game - Win Your Life in 90 Days by Serrano Kelley. This simple A-B-C-D rating system is the most useful way I’ve learned of thinking about my time and learning to use it more effectively. Based on the rating system described below rate how you are doing now and then readjust accordingly how and with whom you are spending your time.

What Activities Do You Engage in Most Often?
A Activities are activities that nourish you, such as physical exercise, meditation, prayer, writing in a journal, spending quality time with family and friends, your favorite hobbies (the ones where time just stops for you), etc. You want to do as many of these A Activities as possible.


B Activities are reactionary -- actions engaged in times of crisis. For example, a B Activity is exercising because your doctor told you if you don’t you will die. Your goal should be to eliminate these types of activities, by getting them handled and taken care of earlier (i.e., by doing more A activities).


C Activities are ones that are best handled by others. Over-achievers often find themselves with too many C Activities because they think that they can handle it better by themselves. Others engage in C Activities because they try to do things that are best left to others (e.g., making your kids’ bed when they could be doing it themselves). Delegate these activities.


D Activities are ones that drain your energy. They produce very little and they take away a lot. Examples of D Activities are gossiping, criticizing yourself and others, watching meaningless television, etc. Try to eliminate these activities altogether.


Who Do You Spend The Most Time With?

A Relationships are ones that nourish and restore you. These people also lovingly hold you to a higher standard. Examples of A Relationships are personal coaches, mentors, religious or spiritual leaders (such as rabbis, priests, or spiritual advisors), certain friends and family members, and yourself (yes, you are an A Relationship for you). A Relationships expect you to fulfill your purpose in life and help you to become the person you’re meant to be. These relationships are priority ones for you. Spend most of your time with A People.


B Relationships are ones that tend to maintain the status quo. Friends and family members who don’t encourage or support your growth fall in this category. It is not that they don’t mean well, people fall into B Relationships, because they want to love you as you are. You can transform B Relationships into A Relationships by asking the person to support you in achieving your goals and to help hold you accountable to do so. To use your time more effectively, transform your B Relationships into A Relationships.


C Relationships are the people in your life that pass-through but do not add much value. These are the acquaintances that you barely know. These people do nothing to contribute to your well-being and may also drain your energy, time, and/or other resources. Spend as little time with people in this category as possible.


D Relationships are the people who drain your energy, hurt you, and/or enable your worst habits. This includes the people with whom you gossip and whine. To be more efficient with your time, avoid spending any time at all with these people.


Monick P. Halm, Esq. is the founder of Equilawbrium Career & Life Coaching. As a coach, law of attraction student, Reiki Master, and former lawyer, Monick helps lawyers find true balance, uncover their dreams and pursue their passions. For a complimentary consult, e-mail equilawbrium@gmail.com.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Flirting


"Yeah I flirt, I'm not blind and I'm not dead!" ~Dolly Parton

I am going to be on vacation during the month of February (going to New Zealand and Australia for four weeks... hurray! hurray! doing dance of joy!), so I wanted to serve up one last blog entry before I go.

February is a month often dedicated to romance and in honor of this, I want to encourage each and every one of you to flirt. You may be thinking, "Flirt?! Is she serious?" Absolutely! Flirting is good for you! Studies have shown that people who flirt have higher white blood-cell counts resulting in a healthy immune system. Also, an exchange of admiring glances or a bit of light-hearted flirtatious banter can brighten someone's day, raise self-esteem and strengthen social bonds.

So what do I mean by flirting? Flirting is putting favorable attention and appreciation on someone else. It's also about enjoying yourself in their presence. It's about using your communication skills with a twist of fun, frolic, jesting, merriment, jocularity, and mirth. It does not have to be about attracting a mate; it can just be about connecting to that most fun-loving and attractive person inside (this is important even when you already have a significant other).

So during this next month I suggest you flirt as much as possible. If you're married or in a committed relationship, flirt with your significant other. You can also flirt with others, but I suggest you flirt lightly or in situations where your flirtations will not be ambiguous &/or taken the wrong way. If you're single and looking to attract that special person, flirt with everyone you can. Do not flirt to get anything, just flirt to enjoy yourself. It's fun and it's good for you.

In February experiment with flirting more and see how you feel. I bet you'll be feeling happier and so will those around you.




Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Dealing with Disaster


"There's no disaster that can't become a blessing, and no blessing that can't become a disaster." - Richard Bach

This week I've watched in horror and dismay, along with the rest of the world, at the events in Haiti. My parents are both from Haiti, each with cousins still living in the country. Searching for our relatives with computers and phone lines unavailable, watching the destruction of homes, businesses, and treasured national buildings, and hearing the news that cousins were missing and unaccounted for were very challenging and stressful to say the least.

Since this blog is about finding peace and equilibrium, I thought I would share some of my tips on dealing with life's most trying moments.

Do something: When faced with tragedy of this magnitude, some choose to ignore it. What's more amazing is that so many act to help. In amazing numbers people from all over the world, many with no connection at all to Haiti, opened up their hearts and wallets to give. Others hopped in airplanes or started gathering supplies. This generosity of purse and spirit has not been unique to this situation... people have showed the enormity of the human spirit in response to Katrina, 9/11, the tsunami in Asia, etc. When faced with tragedy and human suffering, most people want to help however they can. And this giving feels good, makes you feel as if you have some control over your world, and helps you to regain your sense of equilibrium and peace.

Turn off the news: I felt a bit guilty when I turned off CNN and decided to stop watching news of the disaster, but I know that it is one of the healthiest things to do. Staring at the pictures of destruction and suffering does not help anyone. It's paralyzing and it keeps attention focused on how bad things are. The news cameras focus on the worst of the worst (it makes for better television). It is not necessarily (and more often is not) an accurate portrayal of the situation on the ground.

I know personally that whenever there are fires or mudslides in Los Angeles, I get frantic phone calls from friends and family around the country and the world asking if I'm ok. Based on the news coverage, they all imagine that I have flames lapping at my heels and I and all my fellow Angelenos are all running in terror from the flames. While a small percentage of the city does deal with these issues, the vast majority of us are fine and going about our lives as if nothing were happening.

Instead of watching the news, turn your thoughts to positive intentions or prayers for the betterment of Haiti and its citizens. Visualize the country rebuilt stronger and sturdier than ever. Envision the outpouring of good will and money working to revive the country and its economy. See tourists returning to the country's shores -- enjoying the beautifully restored cities, reforested mountains, and pristine Caribbean beaches. See the government and all its institutions working ethically and well. Imagine a country of peace and prosperity, built on a foundation of love and support from the rest of the world. There, isn't that better to think of than that parade of horrors you see on the news shows?

Meditate: Meditation helps quiet your mind and tune you into the peace that surpasses all understanding. In meditation you can tune in to that still small voice that lies beyond the hysteria and despair, the voice who knows that in all, all is well. This calm stillness lies within you, and when you tune into it you know that you can handle anything.

Realize That "Disasters" Have Blessings Too: Disasters may and often are blessings in disguise. It is hard to imagine the blessings arising from this situation in Haiti, but as Dan Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, tells us, humans are notoriously bad at predicting what situations will make us happy. We suffer from impact bias -- we think that different outcomes are more different than they actually are. In fact, studies have shown that major life traumas have zero significant impact on happiness 3 months later. A happy person, tends to remain a happy person even after losing her home or the use of her legs. An unhappy person tends to remain unhappy even after winning the lottery or getting that coveted job.

Can disasters have blessings? I have a friend who was sent to war in Iraq... not something she was thrilled about. There, she met the love of her life, who would eventually become her husband. I know of a young man who lost his legs in a boating accident. From his hospital bed he started a foundation to make sure that all children in this country have access to prosthetics. He feels lucky to have had this situation. He won a CNN Heroes award and he found his life's calling. For me, getting fired when I was five months pregnant led me to coaching and a career much more in alignment with who I am.

When I think of Haiti I try to think about the hidden blessings. The loves and friendships to be formed, the opportunities for growth and healing, the people finding their life's calling, the redemption and rebuilding better than even before of a nation long in need of it.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Kefi/Spirit

"Spirit has fifty times the strength and staying-power of brawn and muscle."

~Mark Twain


I watched My Life in Ruins last night and it made me think of another element -- spirit. Without giving away too much about the plot of My Life in Ruins, the movie is about Georgia (played by Nia Vardalos), a Greek American woman and recently fired history professor who takes a job as a tour guide in Greece. She is very cerebral, and has none of the passion (kefi) so prized by the Greeks. She's a very unsuccessful tour guide because in addition to having no kefi she believes tourists should come to Greece to learn about the ancient culture, not shop, visit the beach, or eat ice cream. While a rival tour guide feeds his charges doughnuts, she feeds her tour members dry arcana about ancient Greece. Richard Dreyfuss, a bereft older widower who ends up in one of her tours, encourages Georgia to enhance her kefi, and (spoiler alert), she ends up passionate and happy and well-sexed. All in all, this was a sweet little movie that left me wanting to amp up my own kefi. (Note: another fun & inspiring movie along the same vein is Last Holiday starring Queen Latifah who incidently also plays a woman named Georgia who's sorely in need of some kefi).


Kefi is the Greek term for spirit, and has been described by various Greeks as meaning the spirit of joy, passion, enthusiasm, high spirits, or frenzy. The custom of smashing plates is considered an expression of kefi, when the soul and body are overwhelmed with an exuberance that must find an outlet. This vitality or mojo is what makes life worthwhile.


Your passion/spirit/kefi propels your dreams, so as you go about your day today focus on ways to bring more passion and vitality to everything you do. Are there things in your life that are killing your mojo that you could let go of? Are there things that you are passionate about that you're not doing, but could be doing? Orient your life to increase your vitality and find more ways to feed your soul. That is the life you were born to live.


If you're looking for some simple and practical ways to increase your vitality in body and soul you can check out this great article: http://www.wethechange.com/25-fun-ways-to-pamper-your-body-and-increase-vitality/

Friday, January 8, 2010

Fire


"O! for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention."
~William Shakepeare

Part of my intention at The Reiki Coach is to help promote balance in every area of our lives. One of the ways to promote balance is to look to the universal elements for inspiration -- fire, water, air, earth, and spirit. We can incorporate aspects of these elements to promote positive characteristics in our lives and use the different elements to help balance out our lives.

Let's be inspired by the element of fire today. Fire has been on my mind for a few weeks now. At the beginning of December I went to temple and heard a rabbi speak about fire. It was the time of Hanukkah and she was imploring everyone to be more like a flame. She said that many world traditions preach that we should strive to be at peace and happy where we are. "Perhaps we're not meant to be at peace and happy with where we are," she said. She said we should be more like a flame -- flickering, inconstant, agitating. Let's not be happy with what is. Let's look around at what we don't like and be like a flame -- agitate and change things.

The other morning I went into meditation and began to ponder the rabbi's words on fire. I love what she said about being like a flame and seeking to be a positive force for change. But is fire really unhappy with where it is just because it's able to spread? In meditation the thought came to me that those states of moving/growing/changing and being happy with where you are are not inconsistent. If a flame is limited to a candlestick, it dances where it is until it burns down and can dance no more. If the opportunity comes for fire to spread, it takes it. It is always seeking to expand and as it does, it changes what it comes in contact with. It brings light, heat, and change. But that energy is not necessarily unhappy. Even when it is contained, it continues to dance.

We too can be like a flame. Where ever we are (until the time comes for our own light to go out), we dance. When given the chance and the right conditions, we grow and expand. And wherever we go we bring light, warmth and transformation. Some might see this transformation as destructive and bad. While it can destroy what is there, it is not necessarily bad. Fire helps brings about an often necessary transformation. "What the caterpillar calls the end, the butterfly calls the beginning." It may not always be welcome -- growth, expansion, change often aren't -- but our higher power is always smiling upon us.

As I meditated, I came to see what had bothered me about that sermon. The dichotomy she drew was a false one. We can be happy with where we are and at the same time take every opportunity to grow and expand. The flame does not lament its lot. Wherever it goes (or stays) it's dancing.

So today as we go about our day, strive to be like a flame -- determined, expansive, and seeking opportunities to grow. But whatever condition you find yourselves in, be a bright light and dance.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Your Inner GPS


"Not only can GPS devices tell you how to get there, they can tell you where to go."
Samir Bhavnani

In this month's O Magazine, a contributor, Padma Atluri, wrote in an article called "Tooling Around" that the tool she most wishes she had was a tool that could "[h]elp me navigate my life. My 'Life GPS' would tell me: 'This is the quickest way to the next laugh or the best decision.'"

I want to tell Ms. Atluri and you, my dear reader, that such a tool already exists. We have access to a big GPS -- the Guiding Power System or the Great Power Source in the sky. Some have called it your "inner guide" and others the "still small voice within." It does not matter what it's called, but it is a tool that is accessible to you and is very real. This GPS has access to all knowledge and is always available to us to set us on the right course. It is infinitely more sophisticated and accurate than the one in your car, but there is no tool you need to buy to access this GPS nor is there any investment in high-tech satellites necessary. All you need is to tune into the frequency of your GPS.

So how exactly do you access this inner GPS? Meditation is a very powerful tool for doing so. There are many, many different ways of meditating -- too many to enumerate them all here. I will share a couple with you though. You can sit quietly and just keep repeating in your mind, "I am open to your wisdom" or simply "I am." Or you can just focus on the in/out of your breath. Setting the intention to be open to hearing your GPS will be very powerful even if you cannot get your mind to silence your thoughts. Even dipping into the silence for one minute is beneficial and the more you do it the easier it will be to access your GPS. If you want more guidance, I found a nice guided meditation on youtube especially designed for accessing your inner guide: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGnB3w80b8M. This is a lovely and powerful meditation and only takes about 9 minutes.

Another method is to put pen to paper and communicate in writing with your GPS. This is a tool that Elizabeth Gilbert describes in Eat, Pray, Love. She writes
I've found that voice... in times of code-orange distress, and have learned that the best way for me to reach it is written conversation. I've been surprised to find that I can almost always access that voice too, no matter how black my anguish may be. Even during the worst suffering, that calm, compassionate, affectionate and infinitely wise voice (who is maybe me, or maybe not exactly me) is always available for a conversation on paper at any time of the day or night.
I too can access this voice by writing a question on paper and having a conversation with my GPS. This voice is not only there in times of deep anguish, the GPS can be used to steer you through your biggest or smallest issues. The GPS is helpful in dealing with depression or divorce (as with Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love) or in writing my blog, dealing with a teenage daughter, reminding me to celebrate the little things or finding the quickest way to the next laugh. Just as the GPS in my car works equally well to get me from my house to the store down the street as from my house in Los Angeles to a store in New York City, (the GPS is only concerned with the quickest and most efficient way to get you from Point A to Point B), the inner GPS does not care if your issues are big or small. The inner GPS just gets you from problem to solution in the most efficient and graceful way possible.

As we enter 2010, resolve to access the most powerful tool you could imagine -- your inner GPS. And if you desire, call upon me for assistance in doing so. I have coached others to hear this guidance and am available to help you.